Witch Team Series S4 BTS pt3
by spikeme4now
Summary: A behind the scenes look at what happened between Willow and Tara in the s4 episode "The I in Team."


The Title:WITCH TEAM   
Series:S4 Behind The Scenes   
Author:spikeme4now4200  
Email:spikeme4now4200@yahoo.com.au  
Copyright:November 12 2002  
Spoilers:Season 4 episode "The I in Team" forms the background of this   
fic. Everything up to and including this episode is fair game for spoilerage. You'll also   
be spoiled if you don't know about Tara's little secret as revealed in the Season 5 episode   
"Family"   
Rating:PG-13 (Strong)  
Pairing:Willow/Tara  
Disclaimers:I don't own any of these characters. I don't wish to harm them, I   
simply want to borrow them and have a little bit of fun with them.  
Feedback:Yes Please!  
Distribution:Everywhere and Anywhere, just let me know where.  
Summary:A behind the scenes take on what happened between Willow and   
Tara during the Season 4 episode The I in Team  
Author's Notes:This is in response to the challenge I posted on the   
[willowtarafanficstation] mailing list early October. I thought it would be cool to   
remember how the Willow/Tara relationship first started. This is the 3rd in a series of 9   
behind-the-scenes stories that deal with the start of the W/T relationship. The series starts   
with the episode "Hush" and ends with the episode "New Moon Rising." Each story can   
be read as a standalone, and goes behind the scenes of one episode. I'll try to have one up   
every week or two.  
Side Note:I just thought I'd mention that this fic had a life of it's own. As I   
was writing it, the words just seemed to flow, and as a result, it ended up almost twice as   
long as my previous stories.  
  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
When Xander had invited Willow over for a poker night, she hadn't been too enthused,   
but figured it might help her focus on something other than Tara. It hadn't worked. The   
whole time, all she could think about was the other night. . . the ritual. . . how they'd   
connected, and what it actually meant. The night they'd spent together had been   
incredible, powerful, and totally confusing. So confusing actually, that when Buffy had   
questioned her whereabouts the next day, she'd lied and said she'd been in chem lab. She   
wasn't ready to share Tara with anyone just yet, especially not with Buffy.   
  
Her relationship with Buffy had been getting distant lately. Her friendship with Tara was   
confusing her, and she really wanted to talk to someone. . . but with Buffy so busy with   
Riley. . . she probably wouldn't have the time to listen, and even if she did. . . would she   
understand? Would she freak. . ? Hell, she herself was freaking out a little. The thoughts   
and feelings she was having for Tara, they weren't the normal friendship-type feelings   
one has for a new friend. Willow wasn't stupid, she knew what was happening here. . .   
and it scared her.  
  
So why wasn't she heading back to her own dorm? Why was she now 2 meters away   
from Tara's door? She should've gone straight home from Xander's. . . instead, she was   
outside the girl's door, stopping by on her way home to. . . what? Tell her why their spell   
hadn't worked? She could've done that over the phone, but then she wouldn't get to see   
that beautiful smile again. . . Taking a deep breath, she rapped her knuckles on the door.  
  
Tara was surprised to hear someone at her door. It was late, after 11:00pm, and she didn't   
really know that many people. Who could it be? Curious, she put down her text book   
and headed for the door. Her heart leapt when she saw Willow at the other end.   
  
"Willow, " she whispered in shock. "Hey."  
  
"Hey," Willow replied, suddenly at a loss for words. Now that she was here, she didn't   
really know what to say. She hadn't thought that far ahead. "I. . . sorry 'bout the lateness.   
. . but I was, ah. . .just on my way home, and um. . . I thought I'd stop by and see how you   
were. . ." Willow paused, her mind struggling for words.  
  
"Come in," Tara gestured.  
  
Willow nodded as she stepped through the threshold. "Thanks," she whispered smiling.   
"I can only stay for a bit. . ." Willow explained.  
  
Tara smiled and nodded, happy to see the girl.  
  
"I found out why our spell didn't work the other night," Willow said quickly. "I just   
thought you might want to know. . ." She continued, grasping for a legitimate reason to   
actually be here.  
  
Tara couldn't speak. All she could do was gaze into the girl's eyes and nod.  
  
At Tara's encouragement, Willow continued, moving into babble mode. "Well, see,   
there's this guy. . . kinda psychotic and stuff. . .well, he sort of cast this spell to turn Giles   
into a demon. . .oh Giles is our grown-up friend, he used to be the librarian at our school.   
. . that is until it blew up. Anyway, he turned Giles into a Fioral demon and that must've   
taken a lot of dark magicks, which is why the rose went all funny the other night. . . . so   
we spent the entire day thinking Giles was eaten by a demon, but actually he was a   
demon himself. . . and luckily my other friend recognized him by his eyes, so we finally   
figured out what'd happened, and forced him to turn Giles back. . .and well, there ya go,"   
she finished nervously.   
  
Tara smiled, thinking it cute the way she rambled. She suddenly got what Willow had   
said. Her friend was turned into a demon? Recalling the stake-burning story, Tara   
realised the redhead seemed to have a lot of excitement in her life. "H..How's your friend   
now?" She asked.  
  
"Oh, he's okay," Willow replied. She met Tara's gaze and smiled. "Ethan reversed the   
spell, and he's gone now, so it's all good."  
  
Tara couldn't take her eyes away. "I'm glad," she whispered softly, smiling at Willow.  
  
Willow smiled back, transfixed. She'd said her part, now she had no reason to stay. She   
should be going, but for some reason she couldn't look away. Tara's sea-blue eyes were   
amazing. She could lose herself in those eyes. . .Willow brought herself out of her   
stupor. She was suddenly terrified. She needed to get away and think about what she   
was doing here, where these feeling of hers were leading. . .  
  
Willow forced herself to look away. "I should go," she whispered.  
  
"Okay," Tara replied, unable to keep the tone of disappointment out of her voice.  
  
Sensing this, Willow relented. She didn't want to seem rude or avoidy. "We could meet   
tomorrow. . . " she suggested. "Between classes or something. . ."  
  
Tara quickly perked up at Willow's words. "I have a short break around 1:00," she   
ventured.  
  
"Great," Willow replied. "Student lounge?"  
  
Tara smiled at Willow's suggestion. "Sounds good."  
  
"I'll see you then." Willow flashed her a bright smile, before heading out the door. As   
she walked home, her heart was pounding at the prospect of seeing the blonde again. She   
willed herself to calm down, but it didn't work. Whatever she had for this girl, she really   
had it bad. . . Suddenly scared again, Willow ran all the way to her dorm, trying   
unsuccessfully to block the thoughts that were bombarding her.  
  
***  
  
Willow sat at the Rocket Cafe, watching Buffy leave with Riley. They were off to the   
initiative, together hand-in-hand. It seemed that everyone had coupled up lately. Xander   
had Anya, Buffy had Riley, and she. . .well since Oz left she had no one, she was all   
alone. . .suddenly the image of Tara crossed her mind. Sweet, goofy, shy Tara. . . with   
her disarming smile, her sea-blue eyes, and her powerful energy. What was it about the   
blonde witch that affected her so? She'd never felt this way about a girl before, in fact   
she'd never felt this way about a guy before either. Even though she'd connected with   
Oz, it had happened gradually. When they'd met, she'd still been infatuated with Xander,   
but Oz had managed to work his way into her heart. With Tara however, there was this   
instant connection, almost like a recognition of souls. It was scary, and powerful, and it   
confused her terribly. With that thought, she checked the time: 12:55pm. She had to   
meet Tara in 5 minutes. She stood up quickly and rushed off towards the student lounge.  
  
When she arrived, she noticed Tara was already there, sitting comfortably in one of the   
lounge chairs. "Been waiting long?" Willow asked, taking a seat.  
  
Tara looked up to see the redhead in front of her. She'd been sitting there nervously for   
about 20 minutes, eager to see Willow again. After she'd left last night, all she could   
think about was their meeting. "N...not r...really," She stammered.  
  
"Great," Willow smiled. She noticed Tara was holding something, fidgeting nervously   
with it. "What's that?" She asked, pointing to the object hidden in her hands.  
  
Tara realised Willow was talking about the Dolls-Eye crystal. It had caught her eye this   
morning as she was getting ready. It was one of the most powerful crystals when it came   
to channeling energy. When she'd noticed the crystal, she'd immediately thought of   
Willow. Willow was new to the magicks, but had so much untapped power inside her.   
The crystal had helped her when she was younger, maybe it could also help Willow tap   
into her own energy . . .  
  
Tara held the crystal up on the armrest, so Willow could see it. "Oh this," Tara began.   
"It's a. . ."  
  
"Dolls-Eye crystal," Willow interrupted.  
  
"Yeah," Tara replied softly with a smile. She was happy Willow recognised it.  
  
"This is so cool. Wow!" Willow continued. She'd spent so long looking for the crystal,   
she felt giddy now that she'd actually found one. "I've been trying to find the Dolls-Eye   
crystal my entire life. . . Well, since June, anyway," she explained. "Where'd you get it?"  
  
"It...it was my grandma's, I think," Tara explained. "I found it a long time ago in my   
attic." She hesitated then, taking a deep breath. She was suddenly very nervous. "I...I   
want you to have it," she offered, moving the crystal towards Willow.  
  
Willow was floored by Tara's offer. A gift like that wasn't taken lightly. The crystal was   
extremely powerful, and accepting it would mean. . . what? There were definite   
boundary issues being crossed here, Willow realised. She was suddenly terrified. She   
was scared, confused, and definitely not ready to accept such a personal gift from Tara.  
  
"Oh no, Tara," Willow began her protest. "Th...that's really sweet. I can't. It's like a   
family heirloom. I...I just wouldn't feel comfortable."  
  
At Willow's rejection, Tara instantly put the crystal away, hating herself for even thinking   
it might be accepted. Of course Willow wouldn't accept it. Why would she? You don't   
give someone you just met something so personal. . . Oh no, she'd probably just come on   
way too strong and scared the girl off. How could she be so stupid. . ?  
  
At Tara's hurt look, Willow suddenly felt awful. The girl looked like she'd been run over   
by a Mack truck or something. Willow hated being responsible for her pain. She hated   
herself for being so scared. It just frightened her to accept what was happening. She just   
wasn't ready. . . Willow suddenly didn't care what it meant. She just wanted to make it   
up to Tara. She couldn't stand seeing her that hurt.  
  
"But i...if you wanted to try out some spells with it some time, I wouldn't say no,"   
Willow suggested.  
  
Tara felt relieved at her words. Willow wasn't scared off, she just wasn't ready to accept   
her gift. She could totally understand that. Suddenly she couldn't wait to get together   
again. "Maybe tonight," she suggested eagerly. "I mean, if you're not doing something   
you could . . come over, and we could. . .do something." Tara smiled, relieved she'd   
gotten the words out.  
  
Willow was about to accept, when she remembered the Scooby-Core thing. They were   
all supposed to meet at the bronze, and it had been so long since the three of them had   
gotten together. Buffy had promised she'd be there, and she really wanted to patch their   
relationship up - she missed their closeness.  
  
"Tonight," Willow began uncomfortably. She hated having to upset Tara again. "That   
sounds really nice," she offered. "But tonight, I uh. . . already have plans, with people. . .   
Other."   
  
"Oh," Tara replied, feeling like she'd been ripped apart from the inside. How stupid   
could she be? Of course Willow had plans. She had better things to do then spend time   
with her. She sighed, trying to laugh it off. "Um, that's okay. . . A...Another time. . ."  
  
"Absolutely," Willow reassured her. She hated the way she was making Tara feel. She   
needed to explain the situation, but had no idea how. "It's just tonight," she began.   
"It...it's kind of a specific crowd. You might feel out of place. . ." Realising how that   
sounded, she regretted the words even before she'd finished saying them.  
  
Tara finally understood what Willow meant. She was embarrassed. . . she didn't want her   
friends to meet her. Well why would she? Tara was well aware of her own faults. . . she   
stuttered, she had a terrible dress-sense, her hair was always messy, she could be terribly   
goofy, her social skills were lacking, and those were just the ones she could think of   
quickly. She probably had plenty more she hadn't even realised. . . Who wouldn't be   
ashamed to be seen with her? She suddenly remembered why she hardly went out much.   
. . why she never made many friends. For some reason however, she'd thought Willow   
was different. She'd thought Willow had seen through all that. . . the way they'd   
connected the other night. . .How wrong could she be. . ?  
  
"I...I better get to class," she stammered. Tara was very eager to get away from Willow.   
She felt like she was about to cry, and she didn't want the other girl to see how much   
she'd been hurt.  
  
As Tara grabbed her books and stood up, Willow quickly joined her. She didn't want the   
girl to go, but had no idea how to make things better. She felt miserable at the way things   
had played out.  
  
"Well, um. . . I...I'll see ya later," Willow stammered. "Okay?"  
  
Forcing back the tears, Tara nodded before rushing off.  
  
Watching Tara walk away, Willow felt like her stomach had just been ripped apart by a   
crazy demon. She literally felt nauseous. How could she have hurt the girl like that?   
She'd made it sound like she was ashamed of their friendship or something. . . She was a   
terrible person. Just 'cause she was confused about her feelings, didn't mean Tara felt the   
same way. She should've accepted the crystal. It was extremely egotistical of her to   
think that the gift had been anything other then a show of friendship. With a sigh, she   
walked back towards the Cafe. She needed a Mocha to perk her up before class.  
  
***  
  
As Willow headed back to her dorm, she had a sudden urge to hit something, or someone.   
. . She couldn't believe she'd blown off Tara for this. She'd spent over an hour waiting for   
Buffy, only to have her show up with all those initiative guys, and then leave within   
minutes. It was as if she wasn't a priority anymore, like Buffy only wanted her around   
when she didn't have more important things to do. . . Willow suddenly realised how Tara   
must've felt this morning. The irony of the situation was not lost on her. Willow knew it   
was late, but maybe Tara would still be awake . . . Smiling, she realised late night Tara   
visits were becoming a habit. . . She just hoped the girl would forgive her.  
  
For the second night in a row, Tara was surprised to hear the late night knocking. Last   
night it had been Willow, but tonight was a different story. She knew it couldn't possibly   
be the redhead. . . she was too busy with friends . . . people other, she'd called them. Her   
heart sank again as she recalled the sting of rejection. Forcing those thoughts out of her   
head, Tara stood up to answer the door.  
  
"Willow," Tara gasped in shock, her heart starting to pound in her chest. Willow was the   
last person she'd expected to see tonight.  
  
Willow was extremely nervous about the blonde's reaction. "A funny thing happened   
with my prior social engagement," she let out quickly. "Pretty much ended when a friend   
of mine went off to do something with another crowd she hangs out with." She paused   
then, lowering her head. "Irony's kind of ironic that way," she joked. "Anyway," she let   
out hopefully. "I know it's late, but I...I thought, maybe. . . I mean. . . If you still wanted   
to. . . do something?" She finished her question with a smile, her heart beating a mile-a-  
minute.  
  
Tara was speechless. She couldn't believe Willow was here, stuttering nervously, and   
wanting to do something. . . She couldn't help but grin at Willow's words. She seemed so   
apologetic and cute. . . The newly discovered love she felt for her was overwhelming,   
how on earth could she refuse her anything? Mesmerised by her presence, Tara was   
unable to take her eyes off the girl as she opened the door wider, closing it once the   
redhead was inside.  
  
All Willow could do was smile and return Tara's gaze. She had no idea what to do or say   
now that she'd been let in. She couldn't believe Tara had forgiven her so easily. She   
didn't deserve this girl's forgiveness. "I'm really sorry," she let out quickly. "I..."  
  
"No!" Tara exclaimed. She reached for Willow's hand and squeezed it gently. She didn't   
need an apology from Willow. She was simply glad to be around her. "It's okay, I...I   
understand," she reassured.  
  
Willow knew it was time. She needed to trust Tara. . . she owed her that much. Willow   
was scared to death by what she could sense happening between them. She played for   
the boy's team, always had. . . but meeting Tara had stirred something deep inside her. . .   
something she knew had always been there, but was too afraid to acknowledge. She   
suddenly recalled her vampire self. . . 'kinda gay,' she'd called her. Buffy had tried to   
reassure her, but deep down, she'd known the truth, known what Angel had started to say.   
The only thing different between herself and her vampire counterpart was the absence of   
a soul. . . a conscience. Her vampire self had no inhibitions, no reason to keep any part of   
her nature hidden. She suddenly realised her own fears and inhibitions had hurt Tara.   
She had no idea how Tara felt about her, but she needed to accept her own feelings, or at   
the very least let the girl into the Scooby-Circle of knowledge.  
  
Willow looked deep into Tara's eyes, and took hold of both her hands. "Tara," she   
whispered. "There's something I need to tell you. . . about my friends and stuff." She   
moved them towards the bed, until they were both sitting down on the edge, still holding   
hands.  
  
"Okay," Tara whispered, enthralled by Willow's proximity, her touch, her gaze. . .  
  
Willow was unsure what to tell her first. She wanted to let her know all about Buffy and   
Xander, and their Scooby-lifestyle. It's just that there was so much to tell. Smiling at   
Tara, she opened her mouth and let the words flow as they would. "Where do I start. . .?"   
She paused, buying some time. "I guess I should let you know about Sunnydale. . ."  
  
"Know what?" Tara asked, her interest peaked.  
  
"Well, Sunnydale happens to lie directly above the hellmouth. In fact the high school   
library was built right on top of the entrance to the Hellmouth. . ."  
  
"The Hellmouth, r...really?" Tara asked in surprise. She was only a little shocked. She'd   
known that there was an inordinate amount of energy centred around Sunnydale. That's   
why she'd chosen to attend College here. She hoped it would help her deal with her   
darker side. . .the one her father had warned her about. Although, she never would've   
guessed it lay above a Hellmouth.  
  
"Yeah, the Hellmouth, that's why lots of weird things tend to happen around here."   
Letting go of Tara's hands, Willow kicked off her shoes, and moved up to sit cross-legged   
on the bed.  
  
Tara followed suit, moving to sit opposite the girl. She could tell Willow was in for a   
long story, so she might as well get comfortable. She looked up at the redhead, flashing a   
huge smile, silently asking her to continue.  
  
Willow felt breathless at Tara's smile. She couldn't take her eyes off her. The girl was   
intoxicating, kinda sexy. . . Willow forced the errant thought out of her head. She had no   
right to think about the blonde in this manner. If Tara knew what she was thinking, she'd   
probably head for the hills, or something. . . "Anyway," Willow continued, forcing her   
mind to focus. "I guess that's why the Slayer was called here."  
  
"Y...you mean a V...vampire Slayer?" Tara asked, intrigued. She'd read about the legend,   
but never thought it was anything more than a myth to scare demons.  
  
"Uh, huh. You've heard of the Slayer?" Willow asked, pleasantly surprised.  
  
"Yeah," Tara nodded, meeting Willow's gaze and smiling. "I um r...read about the   
l..legend in some of my mother's books. I n...never thought it was real though." She   
smiled again, her eyes never leaving the readhead's.  
  
"Well, it's real all right, and my best friend Buffy is proof positive," Willow let out   
quickly.  
  
"Your b...best friend's the Slayer?" Tara asked in shock.   
  
"Yeah, since high school," Willow replied. "She came to Sunnydale during our   
sophomore year."  
  
"Oh," Tara breathed out. This conversation was suddenly becoming very interesting. No   
wonder Willow always seemed to have wild stories. She must've been through a lot if   
her friend was the Slayer. Tara suddenly felt very intimidated. If Willow's best friend   
was the Slayer, why on earth would she ever want to spend time with a nobody like her?   
Especially considering she was part . . . .Tara stopped her thoughts. She hated what her   
father had told her. She hated thinking about that side of her. She'd refused to believe it   
was true at first, but her father could be quite convincing. . . She was suddenly a little   
scared, with Willow's best friend being the Slayer. . .  
  
"S...so she kills d...demons, vampires, w...werewolves, and stuff. . ?" Tara stuttered   
nervously.  
  
"Yeah," Willow let out quickly, then relented. "Well sort of. . ."  
  
"W...what do you m...mean?" Tara asked in confusion.  
  
"She doesn't kill 'em all," Willow began babbling. "Some demons aren't totally bad. .   
.she's even dated a vampire with a soul. . .and also, she kinda lets the harmless ones, like   
Spike, run loose. . .and werewolves, well I'd've been pretty ticked off if she'd killed Oz."  
  
"Oz was a w...werewolf?" Tara asked quietly. She was a little confused. There were   
harmless demons. . ? Maybe she herself was one of the not-so-bad ones. . . Although she   
could never let anyone know about that. Willow might've dated a werewolf, but if she   
ever found out about her, she'd probably run away screaming. . .  
  
"Yeah," Willow replied, bringing Tara out of her thoughts. "He got bit, so 3 nights every   
month he'd get locked up, and I'd have to Wolf-Sit. Does that freak you?" She asked,   
having noticed the confusion on the girl's face. Willow couldn't believe she'd told her   
about Oz. Tara was probably disgusted with her right now, she'd probably ask her to   
leave any minute. . .  
  
"N...No!" Tara exclaimed quickly. "I'm n...not freaked, just surprised. I...it must've been   
hard," she offered gently.  
  
Sensing the truth behind her words, Willow relaxed. "Yeah, it was hard." She paused   
then, taking a second to decide how to continue. "That's kinda part of the reason he left."  
  
"Oh?" Tara asked, flashing Willow an encouraging smile.  
  
"Yeah," Willow let out. "After the whole Veruca thing, he realised the Wolf was inside   
him all the time, and he needed to find a way to control it. . ."  
  
"I see," Tara offered, still confused.  
  
Sensing Tara's confusion, Willow continued her explanation. "Oh. . . when we started   
college earlier this year, Oz kinda met this other musician Veruca, she was also as it   
turned out, a werewolf. The two of them had this animal attraction, and well, to cut a   
long story short, I went to bring Oz some breakfast after a Wolf-Night, and found them   
naked together in his cage. It still hurts to think about. . ." She trailed off, the pain of the   
memory still fresh in her mind.  
  
"I'm sorry," Tara whispered, reaching for Willow's hands. She hated seeing Willow in   
pain. She squeezed the girl's hands in support, ecstatic when Willow squeezed back.  
  
"Thanks," Willow whispered, gazing into the girl's eyes. She squeezed Tara's hands   
again, enjoying their softness. "I should really stop bringing him up, " Willow quipped,   
trying to lighten her mood.  
  
"I don't mind, r...really," Tara replied. She flashed Willow another one of those   
intoxicating smiles, causing the redhead to feel suddenly breathless.  
  
Willow smiled back, reminding herself to breathe. "You're so cool," she let out   
impulsively, lost in the moment.  
  
Tara felt herself turn bright red at Willow's words. She wasn't used to compliments, and   
this one had completely taken her off guard. "Um. . .th...thanks, b...but I...I'm n...not   
r...really. I. . ."  
  
Finding her embarrassment cute, Willow squeezed Tara's hands again. "No, you are!"   
Willow exclaimed, looking directly into her eyes. She took a deep breath, unconsciously   
entering babble mode. "You didn't think I was nuts when I told you about the Slayer. . .   
and I fully expected you to freak when I told you about Oz, but all you did was sit there   
and comfort me, just like you did the other night. You made me feel so. . . and not to   
mention that ritual. That was one of the coolest things. . . the way we connected, our   
energy merging like that. . . it was so powerful and amazing. . . and I'm just so glad we   
met, I totally don't deserve a friend like you. . . especially with how I acted this morning."  
  
"No," Tara interrupted, squeezing her hands. "I t...told you, it's okay," she said   
reassuringly. Her heart was pounding at Willow's words. She couldn't believe what the   
girl had just told her.  
  
Willow still felt guilty. Smiling at the blonde, she continued her babbling. "I know, but   
I'm really sorry for brushing you off like that, it's just that me, Buffy, and Xander. . .oh   
Xander's my other best friend. I've known him since kindergarten, and he's part of the   
Scooby gang - that's what we call ourselves, The Scoobies. We kinda help Buffy with   
her slaying, when we can, and when she's not too busy with her new boyfriend. . . See,   
that's what's been happening lately. Buffy's got this new boyfriend Riley, he's part of this   
initiative group that have a lab underneath Lowell house, and all the frat boys there are   
part of the initiative - they sort of track down demons and such, and do experiments on   
them - like with Spike, he's a vampire, and they put a chip in his brain, so now he can't   
bite people without his head exploding in pain, but he can hurt demons though, which   
kinda means he helps us out sometimes, but only for money. He actually helped Giles   
the other day, you remember I told you about him, he's not just a school librarian though,   
he's Buffy's watcher - only he was fired because - well that's another story, but he still   
sticks around though."  
  
Willow paused for a moment, taking a breath. "Oh yeah, I was telling you about the   
three of us. Ya see, the three of us were supposed to meet at the bronze tonight. We've   
been getting kinda distant lately, what with Buffy spending all her free time with Riley,   
and well, tonight was gonna be our way of patching up our relationship. . . The thing is   
though, Xander as always insisted Anya come along - oh Anya's his ex-demon girlfriend,   
but that's also a whole other story, and Buffy, well she showed up over an hour late, with   
all the commando guys in tow. . . and then she was beeped away only minutes later. .   
.And well, that's what I meant when I said you might feel out of place - It was meant to   
be just the three of us, spending some downtime and - I guess it didn't really turn out like   
that."  
  
Willow stopped her rambling, suddenly embarrassed at how geeky she must sound. She   
hated the way she babbled when she was nervous. She opened her mouth, and the words   
just seemed to flow. Looking into Tara's eyes had just made her babbling worse. She'd   
become so nervous and breathless, and she knew if she stopped talking, she'd probably   
end up doing something she'd regret. . .  
  
"Wow!" Tara exclaimed. She was having a hard time processing everything Willow had   
just said. She'd been mesmerised by Willow's babbling. She found it adorable how   
Willow seemed to latch onto a topic and just keep going. It was as if the girl had so   
many thoughts in her mind, and she didn't quite know how to let them all out. "That's a   
lot to take in," Tara confided.  
  
Willow smiled at Tara's soft words. "You should stop me when I babble."  
  
Tara smiled, gazing deeper into Willow's eyes. "Why? It's so cute," she let out   
impulsively. Tara turned bright red, shocked by her own words.  
  
"Really?" Willow asked, her grin widening. At Tara's soft smile and shy nod, Willow's   
heart skipped a beat. "Thanks," she whispered, suddenly at a loss for words. All she   
could do was stare into the blonde's eyes. They were sharing a moment, a very intimate   
moment in fact, and once again she was scared. What did it all mean? What was Tara   
thinking. . . feeling. . . ? Was their closeness having the same effect on her? Willow   
suddenly realised she knew next to nothing about the girl. Apart from her witchy   
background, and her last name, Tara was pretty much a mystery to her.  
  
"Tara," Willow whispered her name softly.  
  
"Yes," Tara replied breathlessly, her hands tingling form Willow's touch..  
  
"Tell me about yourself," Willow implored, unconsciously caressing the girl's hands.  
  
"What do you w...want to know?" Tara asked, finding it difficult to breathe. Willow's   
gentle caress was intoxicating.  
  
Willow suddenly realised what she was doing. "Oh, you know, anything," she replied,   
unlinking their hands slowly. "I feel like I've told you half my life history, and all you've   
shared is your name."  
  
"Oh, there's not m...much to tell, r...really," Tara replied shyly, missing the contact.  
  
"I bet there is," Willow responded softly. "What about relationships?" Willow   
suggested. "You've heard all about my sordid past, what about yours?"  
  
"W...what do you m...mean?" Tara asked nervously.  
  
"Well, I've told you about Oz," Willow began. "That was my first actual relationship.   
Oz was my first. . . " She faded off shyly, embarrassed by what she was saying.   
"Anyway," Willow continued. "Tell me about your first relationship."  
  
"I. . ." Tara paused, unsure of what to say. She'd never been in love before, and she'd   
never had what you'd call a real relationship. Oh sure, there'd been flirtations, and when   
her mother had died, she'd lied to her family, stayed out. . . even been kinda intimate with   
girls on a couple of occasions, but she'd never actually. . . not completely. She could   
only ever completely make love to someone if she was in love.   
  
"I. . ." Tara began again. "I haven't r...really been in a um, r...real relationship." Tara   
paused, feeling shy about the whole topic.  
  
"You haven't?" Willow asked in surprise. "I'd've thought someone as pretty as you   
would've had your pick of the guys."  
  
Tara blushed at Willow's compliment, her breath catching in her throat. Willow thought   
she was pretty. . ? She didn't know how to respond to that. She merely shook her head.   
"I...I'm n...not, I mean, th...thanks, but I. . . I was n...never r...really interested in b...boys,"   
Tara stammered out nervously, her heart pounding as she realised what she'd revealed.  
  
"No. . ?" Willow asked, quickly getting what she meant. "Oh. . . "  
  
"Um. . ." Tara was suddenly scared. She'd pretty much just told Willow she was gay. . .   
why had she done that? She wished she could take the words back. Willow was   
probably feeling uncomfortable now, she'd most likely leave at any moment. . .  
  
Willow could sense Tara was crawling into a shell. The girl seemed almost scared by   
what she'd revealed. "Hey," Willow reassured, clasping their hands together. "It's okay,"   
she whispered softly.  
  
Tara looked up at Willow, surprised by the understanding she saw in her eyes. "I. . ." she   
faltered, not knowing what to say.  
  
"Tara, you don't have to hide from me," Willow let out, searching her eyes. "I   
understand. . . You can tell me anything. . . I want you to know that. Okay?" Willow   
was desperate to reassure the girl. She was actually secretly pleased Tara was gay. Did   
that mean there was a possibility. . . Willow stopped her thoughts. She still wasn't totally   
ready to go there. . . Besides, just because the girl was gay, didn't mean she was   
interested in her.  
  
Tara nodded, still unsure.  
  
"You know," Willow continued, eager to make the girl comfortable. "It's not like I   
haven't th..thought about it myself. . ." Willow confided nervously, surprised by her own   
words.  
  
Tara was a taken aback by Willow's revelation. "Really?" she asked in shock.  
  
Willow didn't know where the words were coming from, she just couldn't seem to stop   
them. "I mean. . . in high school. . ." she faltered, recalling her vampire self. "And   
lately. . ." She stopped herself then, not quite ready to reveal everything.  
  
"What?" Tara asked softly, her heart pounding at the possibility.  
  
Willow stared into Tara's eyes, sensing a change in the girl's mood. There was almost a   
hopeful look in her eye, as if. . . No! She couldn't. . . She needed some more time to   
process what was happening. Willow realised she liked this girl, and not just in a   
friendship-fellow-wicca kinda way. Also, from the look in the blonde's eye, she was   
beginning to feel the affection wasn't just one-sided. These feelings terrified her, she had   
no idea what they meant. She didn't know what to do, what to say, or even how to react.  
  
Willow looked away from the girl shyly. "Nothing," she replied lamely, slowly unlinking   
their hands. She looked around the room nervously, suddenly noticing the Dolls-Eye   
crystal. "Hey," Willow let out, moving off the bed. "Wanna try out some spells?"  
  
  
Tara could barely breathe. She could tell Willow was uncomfortable, but after what she'd   
implied. . . Tara's mind was racing, did Willow really mean she'd had thoughts about. . ?   
She didn't want to get her hopes up, but Tara could tell there were definite possibilities. . .   
  
"Sure," she replied, not wanting to push the situation. Whatever was happening, it was   
up to Willow to initiate it. Tara was happy to just sit back, and give Willow a chance to   
figure out what she wanted.  
  
Willow grabbed the crystal and returned to the bed. "So, what kinda spell do you wanna   
do?" Willow asked.  
  
Tara smiled at Willow, shrugging her shoulders. "I don't know. . . we could f...float   
something?" She suggested.  
  
"I guess," Willow replied reluctantly. "But we've already sorta done that. We should try   
something better, ya know, test out the crystal. . ."  
  
"L...like what?" Tara replied.  
  
"Well. . ." Willow began. "I've always wanted to try conjuring and transmutation. . ."  
  
"Y...you think we can?" Tara asked softly, exited by the prospect.  
  
"We can try," Willow returned, grinning broadly.  
  
"Okay," Tara replied, getting off the bed. She walked up to her table, searching around   
for a particular book.  
  
"Whatchya doing?" Willow asked, moving to stand behind her.  
  
Tara forced herself to remain calm at Willow's proximity. She could smell the girl's   
shampoo, it was fruity, kinda like strawberries. . . She shook her head slightly, making   
herself focus. "J...just looking for one of my mom's old spell books."  
  
"Cool," Willow responded, exited by the idea. She knew Tara was a witch, but it hadn't   
occurred to her until now that the girl might actually have some interesting books. She   
couldn't wait to get her head into them. "I, um. . . I'd love to have a look at them some   
time. . ." Willow let out shyly.  
  
Having found what she was looking for, Tara turned around, her breath catching as she   
came face to face with Willow. The girl's lips were barely an inch from her own. It took   
every ounce of willpower she had, not to lay claim to them. "Sure," she whispered   
breathlessly, her gaze alternating from Willow's eyes to her lips. "Anytime," she   
finished, unable to move.  
  
Willow was suddenly very aware of their closeness. She hadn't had time to move when   
Tara had turned around, and now she found it almost impossible. The girl was so close,   
she could feel her breath against her lips. She suddenly had the urge to lean over and   
cover the girl's lips with her own. She forced the urge down, stepping aside to let the   
blonde pass.   
  
"Great," Willow replied, watching Tara as she moved back towards the bed. "So, what's   
in the book?" She asked, taking a seat next to her.  
  
"There should be some spells on conjuring," Tara explained, trying to remain calm.   
"Transmutations as well, I think."  
  
"Yeah," Willow let out, reading over the girl's shoulder. "So. . . what should we conjure   
up?" She asked impishly, her eyes darting over the pages in Tara's lap.  
  
Tara stopped when she reached the section she'd been after. "Here," she pointed, moving   
the book up so Willow could get a better look. "It's a b...basic conjuring spell. We can   
use it for stuff like stones, r...rocks, pebbles, sea shells, anything small really."  
  
"Something small?" Willow asked, quickly reading over the text.  
  
"Yeah," Tara replied softly. "I...I thought that would be easiest," she explained.  
  
"You're right," Willow agreed, looking at the blonde to let her know she'd finished   
reading. "Maybe we could try some sea shells," Willow suggested. "They're kinda   
pretty."  
  
"Ok," Tara replied, getting up to prepare.  
  
Willow sat on the bed watching Tara as she set up. She would've offered to help, but she   
was completely mesmerised by the girl's movements. As she spread the candles, drew   
the circle, and mixed the herbs, Willow realised she had a surprising grace behind her   
actions. It was as if spell casting brought out another side to her, a controlled, focused,   
assertive side, which Willow had to admit, she found a little bit sexy. . .  
  
At that last thought, Willow let go of the crystal and dragged herself off the bed. "Is   
there anything I can do to help?" She asked, forcing her mind to behave.  
  
"You can light the candles," Tara suggested, still focused on her actions. Casting spells   
was the one thing she was confident about. Whenever she used her magicks, or was   
preparing for a spell, she felt as if she were a different person. The Magicks had been an   
important part of her life for as long as she could remember. It's essence had always   
comforted her, and no matter what her father said, she refused to believe it was bad.   
Even if she was part demon, she still felt as if the magicks came from a good place, a   
place she couldn't wait to share with Willow. . .  
  
"Okay," Willow replied, searching around the room for a lighter. "I. . ."  
  
"Oh," Tara began, noticing the girl's dilemma. "There's some matches in there," she   
explained, pointing to the left draw of her table.  
  
"Thanks," Willow returned, finding them within seconds. She lit the candles, discarded   
the matches, then went back to the bed to look over the spell. She read over the lines a   
few times, memorising them easily. "I think I've got it!" Willow exclaimed. "You   
ready?" She asked, putting down the book.  
  
Tara looked up at Willow and smiled. "Okay then, lets start," she replied, placing the   
bowl of herbs in the circle.  
  
Grabbing the crystal, Willow joined Tara on the floor. They sat with the circle between   
them, the crystal in Willow's left hand. Tara reached over and joined their hands, her   
right covering the crystal. They closed their eyes, releasing their energy as they recited   
the incantation. They could feel the crystal's power, feel it as it drew out their energy. It   
was more than that though. It was as if there was also a sexual charge between them.   
They'd felt a hint of it that night in the laundry room, then again during the synchronicity   
spell, and more so during the ritual. It was as if each time their energy merged, the   
charge between them became more than just magick. . . Now with the crystal's power, the   
charge became twice as potent.   
  
The redhead mistook the sexual charge for magicks. Every time their energy had   
merged, she'd felt enthralled by the power, but she refused to believe it was anything   
other than the effect of the magicks. She refused to think that the rush was even remotely   
sexual. . . Willow forced herself to focus. She could feel her eyes getting heavy as they   
continued the spell. Looking at Tara, she noticed the girl was reacting the same way.   
She was thoroughly enjoying this.   
  
Tara recognised the charge for what it was, although she hadn't at first. Just like Willow,   
she'd noticed the power, the exhilaration, and chalked it up to the merging of magicks.   
Now though, with the help of the crystal, and the acceptance of her feelings, the blonde   
finally understood what was happening. The sexual tension between them was so intense   
that it manifested each time their energy merged. She knew Willow would never act on it   
though. In fact, she realised Willow would probably never even recognise it for what it   
was. She might have had thoughts, but they were probably fleeting, and if her ex ever   
came back, she'd probably run straight back to him. . . Tara chided herself for her   
thoughts. She needed to focus on the spell, and forget about her unrequited love.   
Besides, Willow needed a friend, and it was selfish of her to want something else. She   
loved Willow, and would be there for her no matter what. . . even if she had a boyfriend.  
  
Pretty soon, the mixture of herbs began to sizzle, releasing a light green film of smoke.   
Suddenly, the circle began to glow as it lifted up to join the smoke. The air merged, and   
as it sank bank to the ground it formed the shape of a small conk shell and then solidified.   
The girl's unlinked their hands and smiled.  
  
"We did it!" Willow exclaimed, breathing heavily.  
  
"Yeah," Tara replied, also breathless.  
  
Willow picked up the shell gingerly, afraid it would disappear or something. "It feels   
real," she noted, passing it to Tara.  
  
"Your right," the blonde whispered. "Too bad it's not per...permanent."  
  
"Yeah," Willow agreed. "It would be cool to conjure up something that lasts longer than   
a few hours."  
  
Tara smiled. "But still, a few hours is better than nothing."  
  
"True," Willow giggled. She was ecstatic. Their spell had worked. She couldn't believe   
how powerful she felt with Tara. Whenever they connected, she felt like something   
incredible was happening. . . almost as if they completed each other. She could feel   
herself becoming addicted to the intimacy. "Lets do it again," she suggested, eager for   
another dose.  
  
"Okay," Tara replied, eager herself.  
  
Willow looked into the girl's eyes and smiled. "Great," she began. "Only this time lets   
try something else."  
  
"Like what?" Tara asked, getting up to grab some more herbs and powdered chalk.  
  
"How 'bout we conjure up a bunch of multi coloured gemstones," Willow suggested. She   
grabbed the bottle of powder from Tara as the blonde re-mixed the herbs.  
  
"That sounds cool, b...but do you think we can conjure up m...multiple items?" Tara   
asked, wondering if they were ready.  
  
"We'll never know unless we try," Willow returned, finishing the circle.  
  
"Right," Tara replied, encouraged by the girl's confidence. Placing the bowl in the   
circle's centre, she reached for Willow.  
  
Once again the two witches joined hands, merging their energy and chanting the spell.   
Before long they were both breathing heavily, exerted but pleased by the results. In   
between them lay a small pile of very pretty multicolored gemstones. The girls simply   
looked at each other, words unnecessary to express the elation they were feeling. Both of   
them wanted to go again, try something else.  
  
"Rose petals?" Tara suggested softly.  
  
Willow smiled as she redrew the circle. She was feeling buzzed, kinda glowy even, and   
slightly confused. Spell casting with Tara was having an exhilarating effect on her,   
almost as if they were. . . Oh my God! No. . ? It couldn't be. . . sexual. . ? Could it. . ?   
She couldn't hide from the truth any longer. The way she felt when their energy merged.   
. . it was more than magick, more than just two witches casting a spell, and more than just   
sexual.  
  
The truth hit Willow like a ton of bricks. She'd been skirting around the issue, making up   
excuses, lying to herself, even hurting Tara this afternoon in the process, but she couldn't   
avoid it now. Couldn't avoid the fact that she was falling for the blonde. Tara was sweet,   
kind, generous, intelligent, powerful, mysterious, and very very sexy. Who wouldn't be   
lucky to have someone like that in their life? The understanding and compassion she'd   
shown Willow had really affected her. She wasn't sure what exactly she felt, it was too   
scary, too soon. . . but she knew she felt something. . . something powerful.  
  
When she'd finished the circle, she looked at her blonde friend shyly. She wondered   
what Tara felt. She'd revealed she was gay, and she'd seen the look in her eye earlier, but   
that didn't mean she had feelings for her. Although, the sexual charge in their magicks   
didn't seem one-sided. . . It was all too much for Willow to think about. She'd finally   
accepted what was happening, and if it wasn't one-sided, would she be able to act on it?   
Would she even know what do if they . . ? And what about her friends, could she even   
tell them. . . would they understand? The answers eluded her for the moment. She'd   
never been in a gay relationship, didn't know the protocol, didn't know anything really.   
She just knew one thing. . .The feelings were there, they were real, and there was no   
denying 'em.  
  
"Willow?" Tara asked, bringing the redhead out of her thoughts. She'd been holding out   
the crystal for about half a minute, waiting for her friend to grab it. She finally called out   
her name when she realised the girl had spaced out. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Oh," Willow chuckled nervously, taking the crystal. "I"m sorry, I guess I uh. . . zoned   
out for a second."  
  
"W...what were you thinking?" Tara asked, intrigued.  
  
Willow searched her mind for something to say. "The...the spell," she stammered,   
thrown by the question  
  
"Really?" Tara whispered.  
  
"Uh, yeah," Willow continued, suddenly getting an idea. "The last spell was more   
involved than the first," she explained. "I just thought we could make this one a bit more   
interesting as well."  
  
Tara's curiosity was peaked. "How?" She asked.  
  
"How 'bout we conjure up enough petals to shower the room," Willow whispered softly,   
a flirtatious grin lighting up her expression. "It'd be cool," she continued, her voice   
becoming husky. "We could float them up to the ceiling as we conjure them, and once   
we're done, we can just let them float down, watching as they cover the room."  
  
Tara was speechless. The way Willow was looking at her, the tone of her voice, the   
romanticism of the spell, it was all too much. . . She didn't know how to react. She was   
totally aroused. Willow was the sexiest woman on the face of the planet, she decided.   
The way her voice sounded, the sexy grin, the look in her eye. . . Wow!   
  
"Th...that sounds. . ." She stopped, unable to say the word in her mind.  
  
"Romantic?" Willow suggested.  
  
Tara smiled shyly at her friend. "Yeah," she whispered, her heart pounding. It was as if   
Willow had read her mind.  
  
Willow extended her hands towards Tara. "So, you wanna do it?" She asked   
flirtatiously.  
  
All Tara could do was nod as she joined her hands with Willow. If she didn't know any   
better, she'd think Willow was flirting with her. . . But that was impossible. . . She was   
just projecting. . . It was her own desire making her think that. . . right? She really didn't   
know what to think, or how to take Willow's actions. Best to just focus on the spell, she   
decided.  
  
The two witches began the incantation, their energies linking, their will working as one.   
The magicks between them were extra powerful this time. During their last two spells,   
Tara had opened herself to Willow completely. Suddenly their combined power felt   
stronger, different somehow. Looking at Willow in surprise, she realised the girl was   
right there with her. She wasn't holding back this time either.  
  
As the smoke began to rise, the girls visualised the petals, forming the image in their   
mind's eye. As if with one will, they channeled their energies, projecting it towards the   
smoke, letting the image of the petals engulf it. As the petals started to solidify, they   
floated them upwards, guiding them towards the ceiling. Their power was so potent, it   
took almost fifteen minutes before the petals stopped appearing. The girls smiled at each   
other as they refocused their energy, releasing their will slowly, and making sure all the   
candles were extinguished. They didn't want to start a fire once the petals started falling.   
Finally, they unlinked their hands and stood up, watching in awe as the petals started to   
float down.  
  
"Wow," Willow whispered, feeling giddy. She reached her arms upwards, reveling in the   
soft feel of the petal-shower. The rose petals were falling steadily, quickly covering   
every inch of the room. When they were over ankle deep in petals, Willow began   
twirling around like a child. She caught the petals as they fell, throwing them up in the   
air. "They smell great," she gasped, twirling around again. "And they look so pretty."  
  
"Yeah," Tara returned. She couldn't help but smile at Willow's antics. She was   
thoroughly enjoying this carefree side of her friend. It was so adorable. Her own   
goofiness getting the better of her, Tara snuck up behind Willow. She reached down and   
scooped up an armful of petals, playfully tossing them at the girl.  
  
Turning around, Willow giggled, a glint in her eye. They were now more than knee deep   
in petals, and the shower had stopped. "So," she let out, leaning down for some ammo.   
"You wanna play huh?"  
  
Tara laughed, scooping up some more petals. Before she could put them to use, Willow   
had already tossed hers towards the blonde. She laughed again as their softness tickled   
her face. Moving quickly, Tara retaliated with her own stash.  
  
"This means war," Willow declared, tossing some more petals at her friend.  
  
Tara chuckled, returning the favour. "If you're up for it."  
  
Laughing, Willow scooped up a new batch. "Oh, I think I can take you," she replied,   
releasing them.  
  
Tara's breath caught at the double entendre. "I...I'd love to see you try," she smiled, a   
silent challenge in her eye.  
  
Exhilarated by their verbal sparring, the two witches stared at each other for a few   
seconds. Suddenly, as of one mind, they burst into giggles. The petals began flying   
everywhere as the war began. They chased each other around the room, ducking and   
weaving alternately to avoid a barrage of petals.   
  
Willow couldn't remember the last time she'd laughed so hard, or had this much fun. She   
moved towards Tara with another armful, accidentally tripping over something. It was   
hard to tell what was under the petals, there were just so many of them, and they covered   
everything. It was a wonder she hadn't tripped earlier. Reaching her hands out for   
balance, she rushed head first into Tara, bringing them both to the floor. They laughed as   
they fell, the petals cushioning their fall.  
  
"Sorry," Willow giggled, moving off the girl. Sitting on the floor, she was up to her   
breasts in petals.  
  
Tara sat up to face her friend. "No worries," she replied, brushing some petals off her   
shoulders. "I guess that means I win," she quipped.  
  
"Not likely," Willow replied, tossing some more petals her way.  
  
Tara laughed, tossing some back. Willow in turn grabbed some more ammo, and quickly   
fired it towards Tara. Once again, the girls were playing, on the floor this time, tossing   
petals at each other. They were laughing and giggling like two schoolgirls, immersed in   
the moment. After about ten minutes, the petals started to fade away.  
  
"Hey," Willow protested, noticing her hands were empty. "What happened to my   
petals?"  
  
"Look," Tara replied, pointing at the floor. "I think the spell's wearing off."  
  
"That's not fair," she whined, using her most childlike voice. "It hasn't even been an   
hour."  
  
Tara smiled at the pouting Willow. She was so adorable. "I guess 'cause there were so   
many of 'em. . ."  
  
"Awwwww, but still. . ." Willow sulked.  
  
Tara couldn't help chuckling at Willow's tone. "It was fun while it lasted though," she   
consoled.  
  
Willow smiled at Tara. "Yeah," she replied. Suddenly feeling exhausted, she lifted her   
hand, covering a yawn. "I'm so tired," she whispered, closing her eyes as she lay on the   
floor. "I think all that spell-casting and stuff's finally got to me."  
  
Stifling a yawn herself, Tara had to agree. "Me too." She looked down at Willow,   
stretched out next to her. She looked so peaceful and beautiful, like an angel. She   
couldn't let her go home like this. It was late, the girl was exhausted, and who knows   
what sorts of monsters and demons lurked around out there. Tara stood up and walked to   
her dresser. She quickly located a couple of tank tops, and two pairs of shorts she used as   
pajamas.   
  
Tara placed one set of clothes on Willow's tummy. "Here," she let out, getting the girl's   
attention. "You'll be more comfortable in these."  
  
Willow sat up, clothes in hand, smiling at Tara. "You sure?" She asked, understanding   
the offer.  
  
Tara smiled back. "Sure," she replied. "That is, if you don't mind sharing the bed," she   
added as an afterthought.  
  
Willow couldn't help but grin at the girl. "Why would I mind? It's your bed," she   
quipped. "Besides, its better than the floor."  
  
Tara giggled, reaching a hand to help Willow up. The two girls looked at each other,   
suddenly feeling very shy. They fidgeted nervously, searching their brains for words.   
  
"I...I'll get the lights," Tara finally stammered out.  
  
"O...Okay," Willow stammered back. She watched Tara as she turned out the lamps, and   
switched off the christmas lights. Turning her back to the girl, Willow quickly stripped   
down to her underwear. She decided to leave her bra on as she pulled down the tank top   
and slipped into the shorts. She couldn't believe how awkward this was. She and Buffy   
changed in the same room all the time. . . but then again, she wasn't interested in Buffy.   
She suddenly realised things were gonna get worse. She was about to share a bed with   
the first girl she was ever sexually attracted to. How on earth was she going to handle it?  
  
With the room in total darkness, Tara felt comfortable enough to disrobe. She was   
braless under her top, having taken it off earlier. She quickly pulled on the tank, covering   
her breasts. She felt extremely self-conscious knowing Willow was in the room. She'd   
never been comfortable undressing around others, especially someone she was attracted   
to. As she fumbled with her pants, she could hear the rustlings of the other girl across the   
room. Her heart skipped a beat as images of a half-naked Willow entered her mind. She   
shook her head, forcing her mind to behave. She waited for her eyes to adjust before   
making her way to her closet.  
  
Willow turned around at the sound of her friend's movements. Her eyes had adjusted   
enough so that she could dimly make out Tara's outline. She watched as the girl pulled   
something out of the closet. "Whatchya doing?" Willow asked softly.  
  
Tara was startled by her friend's voice. "Just g...getting another p...pillow," she   
stammered, moving towards the bed.  
  
"Oh," Willow whispered. She watched as the girl pulled down the covers, organized the   
pillows, and got into bed. Taking a deep breath, she moved to join her. Climbing into   
bed, Willow was extremely aware of the girl on her right. She lay down on her back, her   
arms by her side.  
  
Tara stiffened when she felt Willow get in beside her. She was afraid to move, afraid to   
breathe, afraid to accidentally touch her friend and scare her away. She could smell the   
fruitiness of her shampoo, feel her breathing beside her . . . The intimacy of the situation   
was suddenly too much for her. She should've slept on the floor. . . It would've been a lot   
more comfortable than the sweet torture of lying next to the girl she loved, unable to   
touch her, hold her, make love to her. . . Stifiling a groan, Tara moved to lie on her side,   
turning her back to Willow.  
  
Willow could sense Tara's discomfort, mirroring her own. It was as if they were both   
afraid of making a wrong move. She realised neither of them were going to get any sleep   
at this rate. She knew she had feelings for Tara, deep feelings that scared her to death.   
She was also attracted to her sexually. This was something she'd only just come to terms   
with tonight, but now was not the time to act on it. However, having finally accepted   
these feelings, she also couldn't hide from them. What's more, the way Tara behaved and   
reacted, gave her hope that the feelings might not be totally one-sided. Whatever was   
going on though, Willow knew that without encouragement, Tara would never act on it.   
She realised it would be up to her to take the first step. She needed to put the girl at ease.   
. . for the sake of some sleep at least. Gathering up all her courage, Willow moved   
towards Tara.  
  
Tara gasped when she felt Willow's arm snake around her waist. What was she doing?   
Tara couldn't move, the feel of Willow snuggling up behind her was intoxicating. She   
could feel the girl's breath on her neck, feel the softness of her breasts against her back,   
and the smoothness of her legs as they brushed up against hers.  
  
"W...Willow?" Tara questioned softly.  
  
"Hey," Willow whispered in her ear. "I got cold," she offered by way of explanation.   
Unable to stop herself, she tightened her hold on the blonde. She was quickly becoming   
aroused by the feel of her friend against her. Tara was so soft and warm, and her hair   
smelled so sweet, like apples. Suddenly she wished she'd thought her actions through a   
bit more. What if she was mistaken about Tara? What if the discomfort she sensed was   
because the blonde didn't want to have anything to do with her?  
  
"If you'd r...rather I. . ." Willow stammered out, loosening her hold.  
  
"No," Tara exclaimed, pinning Willow's arm down with her own. Now that the girl was   
here, Tara didn't want her to leave. It felt so right to snuggle together. "I. . . this. . . it's   
nice," she whispered shyly.  
  
"Yeah," Willow whispered back, snuggling up closer. Now that her fears were relieved,   
she felt comfortable enough to enjoy the feel of the soft body next to hers. "Goodnight   
Tara," she let out softly, reaching up to place a soft kiss on her cheek.  
  
Tara felt her face flush as the girl's lips brushed her skin. "Goodnight Willow," she   
responded, thankfull for the darkness. Forcing herself to breathe, Tara closed her eyes   
and tried to relax. After a few minutes, her breathing had steadied, and she could feel   
herself drifting off into sleep.  
  
Willow smiled as Tara's breathing became even. She was glad the girl felt comfortable   
enough to sleep. Willow suddenly felt an overwhelming rush of affection for her. Ever   
since they'd met, she'd noticed her days getting more and more bearable. It had taken her   
a long time to deal with Oz's depature, and she still wasn't certain she was 100 percent   
over it. The pain was there everytime she thought about him. However, being with Tara,   
doing spells together, talking, laughing, it seemed to make life worth living again. In the   
short time she'd known her, the girl had affected her in such a way that she couldn't even   
think of a life without her. Feeling suddenly possessive, Willow snuggled up closer to   
her friend, wanting to be as near to her body as physically possible. Enjoying the   
sensation of their closenss, Willow let herself relax, closing her eyes as sleep overtook   
her.  
  
  
***  
  
  
"The fishies are coming," were the first words Tara heard the next morning.   
  
She opened her eyes, a little startled by Willow's proximity. She'd obviously turned   
towards her friend during the night. Their breasts were now touching, her forhead was   
resting against Willow's, and her arm had made itself at home on the small of the girl's   
back. Their breath was mingling, and if she moved just half an inch, she'd be kissing the   
girl.  
  
"Oh no, they're getting away," Willow spoke again, sounding like a child.  
  
Tara smiled at her friend. She never knew the girl talked in her sleep. She found it   
completely adorable. In fact, everything about Willow was adorable. Unable to resist the   
urge, she brushed a soft lingering kiss against the girl's forehead, enjoying the feel of her   
soft skin beneath her lips. Slowly, being careful not to wake her, she eventually   
extricated herself from the bed. She felt it best not to indulge herself in the girl's   
embrace. She could already feel the tell-tale wetness between her thighs. Needing to   
freshen up badly, Tara pulled on a bathrobe. Gathering up her bathroom gear and a   
change of clothes, she took the time to write a quick note for Willow. Taping it to the   
door, she headed off to the shower block.  
  
Half an hour later, Tara entered her room again, feeling thoroughly refreshed. She   
looked at the bed, surprised to see Willow was still asleep. The girl looked so peaceful   
and content, Tara didn't have the heart to wake her. Dropping her bag, she placed her wet   
towel and dirty clothes in the hamper. Taking another look at Willow's sleeping form,   
Tara smiled fondly. She still couldn't believe everything that had happened last night.   
Couldn't believe what Willow had implied about her sexuality, or how she'd snuggled up   
to her in bed. She had no idea what any of it meant. She didn't want to jump to the   
wrong conclusions, but the way Willow had held her last night had been amazing. She'd   
made her feel so warm and protected, not to mention totally aroused. Although, in all   
fairness, she didn't think Willow's actions were meant to be sexual. Obviously   
affectionate by nature, the girl had reached out to her in friendship. Letting out a sigh,   
Tara forced herself to think about something else. Feeling the need for some breakfast,   
she grabbed her wallet and headed out the door again.  
  
Willow stirred as the door closed. "Tara?" She called, reaching out her hand for the girl.   
When all she felt was air, Willow sat up in alarm. A dozen thoughts crossed her mind at   
once. The most stirring one was that Tara had freaked. Willow was scared she'd been   
too open with the snuggles last night. Her friend had probably woken up this morning,   
felt really uncomfortable and decided to leave so she didn't have to face her. She groaned   
at the thought. She didn't know what had possessed her last night. The exhilaration of   
the spells, the fun they'd had with the last one, and the realisation of her own feelings,   
had greatly influenced her actions. In the cold light of morning, Willow realised she   
might've acted a bit hastily. Desperately wanting to get away, she leaped out of bed and   
changed back into her clothes . Moving to open the door, she noticed Tara's note.  
  
[Willow,  
I've gone to freshen up, didn't wanna wake you.  
I'll be back soon. Please don't leave,  
Tara.]  
  
Reading the note, Willow let out a huge sigh of relief. She was extremely grateful her   
actions last night hadn't ruined their budding friendship. Tara was quickly coming to   
mean so much to her, that Willow didn't know how she'd handle not having the girl in her   
life. Looking around the room, she spied the spellbook they'd been using last night.   
Figuring Tara wouldn't mind, she grabbed it and settled down in the comfy chair by the   
window. She became so engrossed in the pages, she didn't even look up when Tara   
entered the room ten minutes later.  
  
As she opened the door, Tara couldn't help but smile. Willow looked so cute curled up   
with her spellbook. She also looked completely at home, as if she were exactly where   
she belonged. . . That thought gave Tara a really warm feeling. Her smile widening, she   
decided to let the girl know she was back.  
  
"Hey Willow," she called out, closing the door behind her.  
  
Willow looked up in surprise. "Hey," she smiled. "You're back."  
  
Tara held up a white paper bag. "Yep, and I brought breakfast." Moving towards   
Willow, she opened the bag. "Mochas and muffins, I hope you like."  
  
"Mmmm mochas!" Willow set down the spellbook. "My favourite."  
  
"Cool," Tara replied, handing her a cup. "I...I wasn't sure what sort of coffee you liked. .   
."  
  
"Well, you can never go wrong with a mocha." Willow grabbed the cofee, taking her first   
sip. "I practically live off them."  
  
"Me too!" Tara exclaimed. "Blueberry muffin?"   
  
Willow smiled as she accepted the food. "Your spoiling me."  
  
Tara giggled. Grabbing a chair from her desk, she took a seat next to Willow. "No. . ."   
She tasted her mocha. "It's just breakfast."  
  
Willow regarded her friend with tenderness. "Thanks," she said softly.  
  
They sat in silence, eating and drinking. They were happy just to enjoy each other's   
company. Occasionaly their eyes would meet, and they'd smile shyly.  
  
"So," Tara finally broke the silence. "You find any spells you like?"  
  
Willow's face brightened at Tara's question. "Yeah, quite a few actually," she let out   
exitedly. "I've never seen this book around before, it's so cool."  
  
"Yeah, it was my mom's," Tara replied softly. "It was passed on to her by my   
grandmother. I...I think her m...mother gave it to her too."  
  
"That sounds pretty cool," Willow let out. "I guess you come from a long line of   
witches?"  
  
Thinking about her mom, Tara felt a sudden pang of sadness. "I guess," she mumbled,   
also feeling uncomfortable with the conversation. According to her father, the witch side   
of her family was linked to the demon part. She really didn't want to think about that   
right now, or her mother. . .  
  
As she finished her muffin, Willow noticed Tara's change of mood. The girl seemed   
suddenly uncomfortable. "What's wrong?" She asked in concern. "Did I say something.   
. ?"  
  
"Oh no," Tara was quick to reassure the girl. "I. . . it's just. . . my...my mom died when I   
was seventeen and. . ."  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry," Willow gasped, placing a hand on her knee. "I didn't mean to make you   
think about. . ."  
  
"It's okay," Tara smiled, her mind suddenly blank. All she could think about was how   
good Willow's hand felt on her knee.  
  
"Really?" Willow asked, squeezing her knee.  
  
Tara smiled. "Yeah," she breathed out. "It was just a sudden thought, I'm fine now."  
  
"Glad to hear it," Willow replied, giving her knee a final squeeze. "I wouldn't wanna   
make you bad."  
  
Tara looked up at Willow meaningfully. "You could never do that."  
  
Willow smiled at her soft words, feeling her heartbeat increase. Tara always seemed to   
do that to her. . . "So," Willow began, changing the conversation. "You think we could   
try out some of the spells sometime. . . I mean, we only got to the conjuring part last   
night. . . we didn't do any transmutations or anything. . . not that the conjuring part wasn't   
fun. . . it's just. . ."  
  
Tara regarded her friend's babbling with affection. "I get it," she reassured. "I'd love to   
do some more spells."  
  
"Cool," Willow smiled, finishing her mocha. She got up and placed the cup in the nearby   
bin, before turning to face Tara. At the sight of her friend sipping her mocha, Willow felt   
like she would melt. The girl had the sexiest lips, and the way her tongue darted out,   
licking the excess moisture. . . Oh wow! Willow could feel the arousal building up in her   
body, the wetness between legs, the hardening of her nipples. . . She had to get out of   
here and fast.  
  
"I uh, guess I should head off," Willow burst out.  
  
Tara stood up slowly, placing her mocha on the table. She sighed, unable to keep the   
dissapointment from her voice. "Oh. . . If you have to. . ."   
  
She didn't want to say goodbye just yet. Being Sunday, she'd hoped they could spend the   
day together, maybe do some more spells, or even just hang out. . . It was stupid of her to   
assume anything. Just because they'd had so much fun last night. . . and the way they'd   
snuggled. . . It obviously hadn't meant as much to Willow as it did to her. . .  
  
Willow was quick to pick up on Tara's mood. Once again she'd upset the girl. How   
could she be so rude and insensitive? Eating and running. . . that's what she was doing.   
It's just that she didn't want to overstay her welcome, and she needed to think about what   
she'd realised. . . Needed to figure out how to deal with the idea of a gay relationship.   
She couldn't pretend the possibility didn't exist. Tara was gay, and she hadn't freaked out   
over last night, so obviously there were feelings. . . but what were they? Was she even   
ready to accept them? She was still hurting from her relationship with Oz, was she ready   
to put her heart out there again. . ? She couldn't tell any of this to Tara, but she needed to   
reassure the girl. Walking over to her friend, she reached out and clasped their hands   
together.  
  
"I'd love to stay," Willow began. "It's just that I should get back, check in with Buffy, see   
if there's any new evil brewing and stuff. Being part of the Scooby gang, there's always   
something happening, I gotta make sure I'm not needed or anything. . ."  
  
"Oh," Tara whispered, smiling at her words. She felt immensily better. She should've   
realised Willow had obligations, the girl had explained everything to her last night. She   
should really stop jumping to conclusions. . . Tara suddenly recalled the crystal.   
Unlinking their hands, she moved to where they'd left it last night and picked it up.   
When she returned to Willow she placed it in her hand. She then covered it with her own   
and held it there, slowly lifting her eyes, pleading silently with her friend to accept the   
gift.  
  
Willow was floored. She'd watched silently as Tara had grabbed the crystal, knowing   
what the girl was about to do. She hadn't been prepared for this however. Tara was   
looking at her with such openness and feeling, almost begging her to accept the gift. The   
girl had her spellbound. . . Her heart was pounding, her knees were weak, and she was   
overcome with so much affection and longing, she thought she'd burst. Tara looked so   
sweet and vulnerable, as if the slightest rejection would devestate her. She wanted   
desperately to take the girl into her arms, to kiss her lips, to let her know that everything   
was okay, that she would never hurt her again, that she would protect her. . .   
  
Taking a deep breath, Willow decided to accept the gift. Yesterday, she'd been scared by   
the offer, by what it could mean. In all honesty, she was still scared, but after last night,   
things were different. Last night she'd come to terms with her emotions, had accepted   
the gay-type feelings she harboured for her friend. She was still scared, but she wasn't   
hiding. The gift was Tara's way of showing her affection, and how could she refuse that   
when she so desperately wanted it. . ?  
  
Willow smiled warmly at her friend. "Thank you," she whispered softly, letting her   
know the gift had been accepted.  
  
Thrilled by the acceptance, Tara impulsively threw her arms around the girl's shoulders,   
bringing her into a warm hug. She couldn't believe Willow had accepted the crystal, she   
was so happy. Taking a deep breath, she reveled in the strawbery scent of Willow's hair.   
Tara suddenly realised what she was doing. Hugging Willow like this was totally   
inappropriate behaviour. Just because her friend had accepted the gift, it didn't mean she   
wanted to be more than friends. She was about to let go, when she felt the girl's hands   
reach around her waist, pulling their bodies closer together. She gasped when she felt   
Willow's breasts against her own.  
  
Willow had been pleasantly surprised by Tara's reaction. She couldn't help but deepen   
the hug. She loved the feel of Tara's body. It was so soft and curvy, and. . . Wow! She   
suddenly noticed the girl's breasts. They were pressed up against hers, and the feeling   
was so erotic, she felt like she would collapse. Losing herself in the moment, Willow   
closed her eyes, and rested her head on Tara's shoulder. After a while, she realised their   
hug was lasting just a little longer than was appropriate between friends. It was time to   
let go.   
  
"Thank you," Willow whispered again, this time against Tara's ear. She brushed a soft   
kiss against the girl's cheek, before moving away.  
  
All Tara could do was grin broadly. Their hug had been amazing. She'd felt so warm, so   
safe, and oh so aroused. The way Willow had held on to her, pressed up against her,   
kissed her cheek, had left her feeling incredibly giddy. She would never tire of the girl's   
touch, of her kisses. . . albeit, they had all been brief and platonic, but they still left her   
feeling breathless.   
  
"Your welcome," Tara replied, meeting Willow's gaze. "I'm glad you took it."  
  
"Me too," Willow answered softly, losing herself once again in the sea-blue eyes that   
were Tara's. After about a minute, Willow forced herself to look away. She walked all   
the way to the door, before turning around. She was pleased to see Tara had followed   
her. "I'll see you soon," she let out.  
  
"Okay," Tara smiled.  
  
Unable to resist, Willow planted another kiss on the girl's cheek, her breath catching as   
she felt Tara do the same. She'd kissed Tara's cheek a few times now, but this was the   
first time the girl had reciprocated. She hoped it wouldn't be the last. "Goodbye," she   
breathed out, pulling away. Giving her one last smile, Willow turned around, crystal in   
hand, and walked out the door.  
  
Left alone, Tara suddenly burst into tears. She was so happy. She couldn't remember   
ever feeling this happy in her entire life. Something had changed between them, she   
could feel it. It was like their friendship had reached a whole new level of intimacy, and   
not just because they'd slept in the same bed. It was as if Willow had realised something,   
opened herself up. She didn't know the exact details, but she could sense the change in   
her. Wiping away the tears, she realised that maybe, just maybe, there was hope for her   
and Willow after all. . .  
  
  
THE END 


End file.
